Thursday, February 12, 2015

Throwback Thursday

I'm working on a couple of new blog posts.  Life has been especially busy lately and will only get busier in the coming weeks, so I'm trying to get a few posts "stockpiled" for the future. For today, I'm posting a few old posts from my old blog in honor of "Throwback Thursday." These are all from 2009 or earlier, so they should at least seem new since no one has read them in awhile (if they ever read them to begin with).   I'll also be updating this blog with some new features and possibly a new layout, hopefully in the next couple of weeks.  

First, here's a post for my teacher friends.  

Diagnosis (from August 26, 2008)

I visited the doctor due to some strange symptoms I've exhibited lately. Turns out I have Teenager-Induced Tourette Syndrome, also known as TITS.  

I have developed several tics, including involuntarily reaching for staplers and other blunt objects, rapid eye blinking due to disbelief of the sheer ignorance I witness, and repetition of various phrases including, "Stop touching each other", "Listen", "Sit down, sit down, sit down" and "Where is your pencil?"

I cannot be held responsible for any sudden or profane outbursts since my TITS has brought on severe coprolalia. Fortunately, such outbursts are usually confined to the empty classroom of Mrs. Terrence Morris. 

The symptoms gradually subside when those under the age of 18 are not present. The symptoms worsen ten-fold when surrounded by freshmen (especially those of the repeating variety). 

There is no cure for TITS, though it is treated with long weekends, holidays, spring break, and the months of June and July.   
Also wine.  

And here's a post from when I was the ripe old age of (almost) 28.  So wise.  *insert eye roll*

Life Lessons (from July 2007)

A few things I've learned in my (almost) 28 years. Some from personal experience, some from observation. I may have stolen some of these, but that doesn't mean they aren't true. 

People who preface a majority of their statements with "honestly"—usually aren't.

Mass quantities of alcohol should not be consumed right before you end a relationship.

A good mother can tenderly hold your hair back while you vomit while at the same time berating you for coming home piss drunk.

Sometimes love means taking a leap of faith and working out the details on the other side.

People who lie to you will lie about you.

Get both sides to a story before beginning a witch hunt. 

It is possible—though by no means easy—to salvage a strong friendship from a failed relationship.

If a friend tells you everyone's secrets, she's telling yours, too.

People who enjoy the drama of being miserable deserve to be miserable.

It's a small world…especially in West Tennessee.

If you both truly want a good relationship, you will have one. 

Usually it's better to be lonely than to have friends of convenience.

Some people can be convinced of anything, to the point that entire portions of their lives are fabricated by other people.

Trust first impressions, but only if based on both fact and intuition.

The funniest people are often hurting the most.

Few things in life are harder than role reversal between parents and children.

It takes two people to nurture a friendship. It is rarely the fault of just one person when it fails.

"Rock bottom" makes a poor foundation. Grab a limb on the way down.

Age doesn't matter in friendship, but it will in a relationship. It just may take a couple of decades before you notice.

Your soul mate should be your biggest fan, not just your biggest groupie. (metaphorically speaking… for most of you)

True friendships don't end, they just go on hiatus. 

You'll never know whose life you'll touch, so try to touch them all.

Friends, like car keys, are often found in the most unlikely places.

Do not underestimate the power of angry tears over angry words.

Laughing while talking is often a sign of nervousness and sometimes a sign of dishonesty.

Humility is best served with a big bowl of cheese dip.

Be cautious with whom you discuss your marriage. Avoid those who tear down your spouse. Cherish those who aren't afraid to point our your faults, too.

Writing can be better and cheaper than therapy.

Dogs have the ability to understand our feelings better than we do.

If you have to convince yourself that you like it, you don't like it.

There isn't necessarily someone out there for everyone, romantically speaking. If you're lucky enough to find your "one"… Don't. Let. Go.

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